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 Apparently, the, “or not route” was the one I went on.I was ready to be moving right along. I hit a physical wall.  It keeps coming to me that all this stuff in my life is so very multi-faceted. There are hereditary and up bringing factors (nature and nurture); there are survival factors;( I am not able to successfully set up and hold my own boundary limitations,;so stuff keeps everything and everyone out for me, kind of a baby with the bath water, all or nothing thing; issues of worthiness and wholeness … the list goes in and on.

I have back slid. I was doing okay, then I started back sliding, around the time my back started giving me problems. It is excruciating (no exaggeration) to bend over, to stand, to sit, to lay down, to change position.

Things have gone to Hell in a proverbial hand basket.

Fast Ride in a hand-Basket. gee, the scenery looks familiar!
Fast Ride in a hand-Basket. gee, the scenery looks familiar!
3logs 3 boxes handbasket 003

Working like this is just plain dumb! Time for a change.

3logs 3 boxes handbasket 004

Things I've not taken to donate and things I've neglected to deal with.

 

I’m not sure how all of this is related, but I am sure it’s a process. I’m sure this won’t be quick. I was worried, when I first started that it would be. I am also sure I will turn this around. I have no desire to live like this. I can figure it out and change it.

This is not easy. Many things worth doing, and worth doing well are not easy. -A good point to remember. In the mean time, I will keep breathing.

inhale, exhale.

 

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7 Comments

  1. I would help if I lived closer!! Love you…

    • Thank you Susan. I love you too. I think I need to figure this out on my own if I’m ever going to make it work in a meaningful and lasting way!
      Thank you

  2. Pauline, hang in there! Don’t back slide! Don’t get bummed out by what still needs to be done, especially if you have back problems that are holding you back. Revel in what you have done and at least work on maintaining that until you a ready to continue!

    • thank you for the ongoing support Simone. I appreciate it. Hope all is well with you.
      -Pauline

  3. Ha! Got some piles of my own to deal with. Hoping to get to it over the next week. They aren’t too bad, just maintenance. But you know how these things go if you don’t nip them in the bud!

    • I certainly do.

  4. Hey Pauline. I was just working on that cleaning up I was telling you about and I thought of you and it inspired me to let some stuff go. I went to a fun 40s style hair and makeup workshop on the weekend and we all got a little bag with lipstick samples and some tools to apply to the makeup while we were there. I didn’t use the tools because I brought my own, so just now it came time to dismantle the bag and I almost kept all the stuff like the mascara brush, tweezers and some other brush that I don’t even know what it’s for. I was about to keep it all including the cute little bag it all come in (stunning lil thing with RIBBONS for handles). Too cute to throw out, but I realised I don’t need it.

    I threw out the mascara brush (I use the one the comes with the mascara!) and the tweezers (mine are way better) and the other things that I didn’t even know what they were for but would have kept anyway. I kept the two make up sponges, but that’s because I just used up my last one! As for the adorable bag, I was ready to keep that too, but I realised I couldn’t do anything with it ever, so it’s in the recycling. I kept all four lipstick samples, though one of them looks horrible on me. I’m going to go throw that one out right now.

    Anyway, thanks for your help. You helped without knowing it!

    Simone


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